Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I Don't Want To Grow Up

What do you say when your 4 year old says "Mommy, I don't want to grow up"?  I suppose this is where I should add that it was said with a quiver in his lip and a tear in his eye!  Seriously.  7:30 this morning and that is what I am dealing with.  I asked him why and he got more tears in his eyes and said, "I don't want to get bigger, I just want to be who I am and be me."  I tried to laugh it off and say "I don't want to grow up either" but he was having no part of that.  This was obviously something very important to him and he wanted to have a serious conversation about it.  I told him that everything grows.  Trees, flowers, babies, grandparents....and no matter who or how big he grew up to be, he would always be my little boy and I would always love him.  He asked me if God decided how big he would be.  He told me he didn't want to be different and that grown ups don't have fun.  I told him growing up meant lots of fun things like: sleepovers, staying up later, playing sports, going on special trips, making lots of friends, learning how things work in the world....truthfully, I was having a hard time having this conversation.  I wanted to say, "I don't want you to grow up either", "I don't want you to change", "There are lots of things about growing up that are scary and difficult."  My little 4 year old IS growing up, and he IS changing and while I am super excited to share this journey with him, I am so sad at  how fast it is going.  Fortunately by the end of our conversation (just as I was putting breakfast on the table), he turned back into my sweet and smart little 4 year old and said, "Mom, I'm just not going to eat my breakfast so I won't grow."  Ahhhh....if only it were that simple.